i'm sure you've heard this before...

[bwink13]

I know how many times people probably post about the boys they're in love with that don't love them back... well prepare yourselves because here comes another one. I've had this in the past like I'm sure most of us have, but this time it's different. Here's the story... I am a sophmore in college, and I one weekend at a part I my friend and I met these two boys. She hit it off with the one and I wasn't exactlly sure what to think of the other. He had a cowboy hat on and normally that wouldn't be my thing at all but he seemed nice so we chatted and that was that. From that night, I then began to see this boy around campus and through a mutual friend, he got my number. He texted me one day and asked if I wanted to eat dinner with him that night and since he was a nice boy I agreed. We ended up chatting for 2 hours and I had a really great time. Later on that week he invited a group of my friends and I down to his room to watch a scary movie. We did all the flirty things your supposed to do during a scary movie and I was having a blast. Later that night after I had left his room, our mutual friend texted me saying that this boy liked me. I at first didn't know what to think because this was so new and so sudden. I'm not going to lie I weighed the pros and cons a lot on this one being that I had just met the kid. Afte a lot of advice and talking up from our mutual friend I came to the conclusion that I liked this boy too. Of course our mutual friend has a problem keeping his mouth shut and in no time the boy knew how I felt about him. I was so happy and so excite to have met someone brand new and exciting. From then we texted for about a week and hung out once during that time. All of our texts were flirty and we said goodnight and goodmorning to eachother every day via text. That weekend, the fraternity that this boy is a part of had a big party. My friends I went and when we got they had stopped letting people in because it was too full. I texted this boy and told him I couldn't get in so we were just going to go home. He then came busting out the door and told everyone on door watch that I was with him and I could go in. We hung out with a few people in his room when I first got there and it was really cute I was sitting on his lap and we were holding hand and cute stuff like that. Being that it was so crowded at some point in the night we got separated. I then wandered to the dance floor where my friend Bud found me and began to dance. Bud is a friend that I had met the year before. There was absolutely nothing between the two of us but friendship. Just as we began to dance the other boy who I haven't told you his name yet but it's Jeremy lol, came down and saw the two of us dancing. He then freaked out, and when I say freaked out I mean freakkked out. He ended up leaving the house because he was so angry with me and spending the night in a friends room. To make this super long story shorter, he never gave me a chance to explain myself. He saw what he saw, took it for face value, and didn't care what I had to say about it. He totally got the wrong impression and it was frustrating that something so innocent and stupid ruined something that could have been so good. I really truely did like this boy a lot. Well, time passed on and every time I would text him asking him to meet up and talk about this he would totally ignore me and my texts. When we saw eachother around campus he avoided me and talked about me to his friends. Time continued to pass and I gradually got over him. I realize this sounds stupid how much I cared about him because we wern't even together, but I honestly really really liked the kid. I then began talking to other boys to get my mind off of Jeremy and it worked. Soon we were able to be in the same place at the same time and it was okay. Then came the weekend from hell. I don't know if this is appropriate to say on here but I;m going to say it. I was quite drunk this past saturday as in 3 nights ago and my friends and I wound up at his fraternity house where he lives. I was walking upstairs and our mutual friend Bobby calls me into a room. I enter not realizing it was Jeremy's room. I give Bobby a huge hug and he says to me, "You know whose's over ther." and of course I did it was Jeremy and Bobby was like, "You should go talk to him." , sooo me and my drunk self wanders over there and Jeremy pulls me onto his lap and is saying all this stuff to me like "I miss you so much and why didn't things work out between us." and blah blah blah and then he kisses me. I got really upset and all I kept saying to him was, "You didn't even give me a chance to explain myself. That is all I wanted was a chance to explain everything to you." and then I walked away in tears and our mutual friend Bobby pulls me onto his lap in a chair where I proceded to cry for the next solid hour. (Mind you I am still in Jeremy's room crying in front of him, about him.) Jeremy then gets upset and begins to get tearry eyed and kicks everyone out of his room, including us. From then I didn't see him for the rest of the night. I realize I was drunk and this probably added a lot to the situation, but I am not drunk now and I am still in love with the boy. Every time I see him on campus I get goose bumps. When I see his name on facebook my heart races. I didn't even realize I still had feelings for Jeremy, but as the saying goes "a drunken mind speaks a sober heart." So, tonight our mutual friend Bobby told me what I needed was colsure and that would help me get over him. He helped me prepare a text message to send Jeremy that would hopefully initiate the responce I needed to get over him. It read..."I need you to tell me there is nothing between us so I can get over you. I thought I had but clearly Saturday showed I hadn't". Jeremy never responds to anything I say to him since that first night he got mad at me so I didn't really expect a response this time, which was good becasue it is now two hours later and I still didn't get one. I really just don't know what to do. I will seriously take advice from anyone who read this ridiculously long thing and has insight to offer. I like this boy so much I can't even concentrate on homework or sleep properly, which I can't figure out becasue he won't even give me the time of day. Please help.... Thanks so much.

[dug110]

First , let me say that I know you are really hurting over what this guy did to you. It is obvious by reading your post that the hurt runs deep and you are a very sensitive person. It also sounds like this isn't the kind of person that will ever meet your needs. It is evident by the way he shuts you out, ignores you, and treats you badly, that he is totally not the kind of man you should be pursuing.

I want you to think about why you are attracted to this guy? Is it looks? Popularity? Something is making you pursue him and it will serve you well to take a minute and try and figure that out.

I read once...don't operate exclusively by sexual attraction alone. That’s a choice your reptilian brain is making which is to say not a choice at all. “Choosing” means weighing alternatives and being rational. Never in life do you want your reptilian brain in charge. It doesn’t “think.”

Make a list of the qualities you want out of a relationship...start seeking a man that will fulfill those needs. I hope this helps---

Dug110