She only talks to me when no one is looking

Faethe · Newbie Joined: Dec 15, 2009 Posts: 2

I think that my best friend's boyfriend is controlling her. He's "gotten rid" of me so she will only talk to me on Facebook and when he's not in town to have access to her laptop. What can I do to help her? Am I totally off base for feeling this way?

dug110 · Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:20 am Post subject: Insecurities

Hey....it sounds like he is a pretty insecure guy. How can you make him feel more at ease with your friendship with his girlfriend? You are in a tough spot. Ultimately, your access to her will depend on what she wants. You need to ask her clearly and directly what she wants to do. Once you have gotten her answer you need to respect it. If she says she still wants to see you and talk to you on a regular basis then you need to put the responsibility of making that happen back on her... conversely, if she tells you to back off you need to respect that as well.

Faethe · Newbie Joined: Dec 15, 2009 Posts: 2

He was plenty at ease with me being around for the first 8 months or so that they were together and about a year before that. We all hung out with the same people. She's only talking to him and one of the other friends now. Last spring there was some drama that her bf "tried to stop" between part of the group. None of the people involved talk to him or her anymore and I only hear from them every now and then. She's tried to have a couple get-togethers with everyone but her boyfriend either makes other plans that supersede them or she gets sick from stress. (During the last one he invited my ex and un-invited my bf (who is his friend) by telling him that I said I didn't want him there really then denied it to everyone. When my ex wanted to bring his gf the whole thing was canceled suddenly.) I'm always invited and she was inviting me over while he had a night class but then he dropped it so she acts like she wants me around but can't have me there.