just a friend

Monkey13 · Newbie Joined: Dec 21, 2009 Posts: 2

i'm tired of being just a friend.
It's really frustrating seeing someone you like in a horrible relationship. All of my female friends use me as their emotional pin cushion, they complain about their boyfriends, about friends, almost every aspect of their lives. I feel they're somewhat getting the best of both worlds, an asshole at home, and an idiot (me) to go cry to. I know people need someone to talk to and maybe just listen but to whom does the listener go to?
I don't want to be that guy anymore, i want to be "the" guy.

ChickenSoup · Newbie Joined: Jan 23, 2010 Posts: 2

I'm going to be honest here - is there a specific girl or two that you would like to be in a relationship with, or do you just want [i]to be[/i] in a relationship for the sake of being in one? It doesn't get outgrown in some people.

Yeah. Seriously think about that.

But, if there is ONE girl that you would like to be more than friends with, the fact that she is coming to [i]you[/i] and not her female friends is a good sign. If she does have a asshole, give her some good advice, gently reminding her that breaking up with him is also an option. Whenever you do this, though, try to be sincere. You should be advising her this because she has an asshole of a boyfriend - not so you can grab her as single. If you're not sincere, it'll show, and behold the common stereotype of 'manwhore.' Give her gentle romantic nods if she does become single. Be her knight in shining armor and ALWAYS give her the respect and advice she needs.

BUT if she IS taking advantage of you, it might be wise to spend a little time thinking about her. She might not be exactly the girl you want.

Girls hate guys trying to change so that they are 'more attractive.' You are who you are - we see through things like that.

Pushy is not the answer. The answer is to be kind, patient, and GENTLE.

- A girl who has been through it all.